Hi, i'm milla!
my transformation
My journey of personal growth began when I set up and co-founded my first company, an online clothing brand.
Although it was a quick cash cow from the start, it was built on the wrong foundations.
Round-the-clock worry culture, hustling and dysfunctional business relationships became the cornerstone of my life for 7 years - and they had me in a permanent state of frantic living, survival mode, and acute unfulfillment. That quickly escalated to more than $100,000 of debt.
As a Highly Sensitive Person, my nervous system is more prone to construe a situation as dangerous for my survival, in comparison with most other people.
Meaning: even the slightest undertone detected in any given e-mail could easily and immediately be interpreted as a threat, and my system goes into overdrive trying to keep me safe.
In other words: I was constantly living in a state of fight or flight.
Survival mode was my way of life.
As a result, my nervous system and subconscious mind -whose main objectives are to keep my safe and secure- were governed by an all-encompassing, crippling and dominant presence of FEAR. That is where they were getting their orders from.
Fear was running my life.
I was always fearful that things would go wrong. I was even fearful that things would turn south when something DID seem to go right - anticipating the next catastrophe constantly.
For years these bodily systems had gone unchecked due to a lack of awareness on my part of what was in fact going on. And it is from this place that I set out in founding my company.
After I sold my company, I felt the same angst, remorse, shame and anxiety that I had felt before selling my company.
This could only mean one thing: that my internal programming had not changed at all, in spite of the glaring change in external circumstances.
I was still running on the same fuel of angst, remorse, shame and anxiety, even though I had gotten what I wanted (apparently).
And in perpetuating this programming, my energy field was completely collapsed.
To say that my point of attraction was off, is an understatement.
What did I overcome?
The dominance of fear as an undetected, unchecked and unchallenged emotion and energetic currency in my life.
I learnt to master fear. Now I have IT; IT doesn’t have ME. I call the shots. I took back my power.
Today, I have a new programming that runs on love; self-love, expansion and abundance.
This new programming runs on autopilot and trickles down seamlessly into many of the actions that have become my ‘new normal’:
*The boundaries I put up (as a former people-pleaser, this one was life changing!)
*My innate reaction to adversity and overwhelm
*A newfound natural tendency for my body+mind to perceive situations as harmless
*A state of relaxation as my predominant state
*A feeling of safety around money
And although as human beings we can never rid ourselves of fear because it is a biological conditioning for our safety and survival, the amount of fear that DOES present itself is strikingly low compared to before, because my body now has a new programming that in and of itself filters fearful situations from another angle - IN SPITE of my neurodivergency as a HSP.
Whenever new fears DO present themselves, they no longer go by unnoticed and my conscious mind is primed to go into resource-mode as its first natural reaction:
(1) I am acutely aware whenever a fear-derived sensation presents itself in my body and I immediately trace it back to the thought that is causing the physical sensation of fear.
(2) I deploy my resources and strategies in full-blown form, which include:
Pinning down its source and tracking down any old beliefs not yet released that may be giving the fearful energy lifeIdentifying where it is in my body and how old it is
Defining what is triggering it, what immediate narratives my brain starts making up about the event and offering a different interpretation
Looking for evidence of safety, of winning, of successIdentifying if there is energetic mirroring or energetic projection taking place
Defining what is triggering it, what immediate narratives my brain starts making up about the event and offering a different interpretation
Defining which of the my energy portals is shut down and where I can hold space within my energy bodies for the opposite emotion as per the law of duality; which of my energetic archetypes is trying to speak up, and why; is there a story my inner child wants me to hear and in so doing, be soothed? Is there a shadow I didn’t know was still there?
Making my body and nervous system feel safe if the fearful event is an unforeseen bill or expense
Zapping limiting beliefs by changing the story my subconscious mind is projecting and shifting the narratives of my monkey mind into stories of success
Employing strategies to rewire my subconscious beliefs as well as consciously directing my neural pathways to take new routes and in so doing, create new automatic brain routes through neuroplasticity
Witnessing the fear as a third-party bystander as a gateway for its exit from my body
(3) The fear becomes released and the remnants of its energy transmuted into another emotion or frequency of my choosing that will serve me
HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY MANIFESTATIONS?
Manifestations -or successful ones, the soul-aligned ones that truly get you what you TRULY want, crave and desire- cannot happen if you are in survival mode.
They just can’t.
So, in a very basic and simple nutshell, as long as fear is the predominant energy and emotion that is driving your decisions, your bodily functions and your energetic thermostat, you will forever remain in a state that keeps perpetuating the fearful results in your life.
There are many nuances to this blanket statement; fear cuts your connection to intuition. It fosters a victim mentality instead of a power-radiance energy. It buries your creativity (meaning, any potential million-dollars ideas you may have). It keeps your mind focused on the negative and in doing so you are simply blind to life-changing opportunities. Your energetic antena is sending out the signal of fear into the quantum field. And so on.
Overcoming and managing fear in a broad sense is an invitation to go within and heal.
*Learning to neutralize overwhelm is healing and also requires your nervous system TO heal in ORDER for you to successfully neutralize overwhelm.
*Reprogramming your subconscious mind requires you to identify painful moments.
*Releasing trapped fear-based energies requires you to sit with uncomfortable emotions.
It also takes courage. And courage is part of any healing process.
It takes courage to face your fears. It takes courage to take action towards your goals IN SPITE of your fears. It takes courage to release and let go of resistance, diving into your divine feminine energy, and trusting that you are taken care of.
This journey is not easy — if it were easy, everyone would do it.
But, I CAN promise you THIS: it is LIFE-CHANGING. And across the other side, the rewards are gargantuan.
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